Outside Looking In

I totally believe that the concept about the number 13 and Friday the 13^th is such a big conspiracy of truth and a waste of time.

I’m a little biased with things being judged or mistaken because I always get this.

Anyway, I didn’t expect that this month I’ll be getting more than 3,000 hits and posting 3 hits related updates.

I’ve posted a year ago about the 1967 Chevy Impala with the anticipation of Supernatural’s 4^th season.  Today, the post continuously gets the most view with a total of 4,200 plus views and 10 comments.

Today, my blog is almost half way to the next update but this post is dedicated for the 13,000 hits.

Again, to my loyal readers, thank you very much!

Last Saturday, as I was trying to buy some time for myself, I’ve found myself inside a book store again.  One way for me to kill time is to go inside and fancy over having all those books.  Well, I ain’t really a book lover; I just want to read stuffs that interest me.

Then after a few hours of standing and looking for what to read best, I’ve finally found a book on volunteerism, which made me realize that I still need to finish the book about it that I’ve bought last month.

Doing an act of volunteerism is in my 2009 check list and I’m carefully thinking of what and where to participate.  I even considering of convincing my college buddies of whom I’ve spent college years doing some volunteer work.

I really want to do something about our Nature, Mother Earth.

I strongly believe that we should really act fast and act soon.

So this is what I’ve learned from the quick read of about an hour or two the bookstore.

First there are two choices to choose from:

1. Development volunteering (which can still be divided into the following: )
   • Emergency and Relief
   • Working with children
   • Education & Training
   • Business Administration & Office work
   • Building  and Construction
   • Health & Nutrition
   • Community Development
   • Staff Volunteering
   • Agriculture and Farming
2. Conservation and Wildlife Volunteering

And the following ultimate questions:

1. What work will I be doing?  Can the organization provide me with a brief job description?
2. Does the organization work with a local partner? (Example, I can’t find the local office of Greenpeace)
3. What time frame is the volunteer programme run on?
4. Lastly, is what support & training do I get or receive?

Aside from these questions, what I am truly excited about is, I think I have found my organization to volunteer on. I just have to contact them.  What’s nice with this organization is they’re more than willing to let you choose how and what you will do and the ultimate problem ”when” – is solved.

I just hope that what I’ve researched so far is true.  Time is something that I really want to give unfortunately I’m working full time.  Maybe, in a couple of more years, I’ll fulfill my dream of doing just volunteer work as my primary job.

And I can see it coming in the near future.

I will just post updates as soon as one comes. 

There are 12 months in a year, 12 signs of the zodiac and last Friday my blog got another 1,000 hits bringing the total views to 12,000.

Milestones from the period of almost less than 2 weeks were the following:

• Almost over 100 views per day for the 967 Chevy Impala
• For the past 16 days, the blog’s views average per day is around 126
• This month’s total view (as of now) is almost nearing 3,000 which almost the double the regular of blog’s monthly view

Again, thank you for visiting my blog.  Totally didn’t expect that I’ll be updating hits related topic twice this month.

After 4 hours of sleep, I woke up still with migraine. 

Staring at my desk these are the items I see: 

• Glass of empty milk
• Glass of half full of water
• Bottle of medicine for my migraine
• Chocolate wrapper’s gone
• TV set with my reflection

Wondering and thinking…

My questions were answered last night and heart aches peeking on its window – shouting wanting to get out.  But I ain’t entertaining it, I’m not allowed to. 

We ended up talking until the wee hours of the morning.  I just had one of the most mature closure and chat in my entire life.

Our conversation was great.  He was courteous enough and kept me company when I can’t sleep through the night.  My impression of his sensitivity is still there.  He makes a pretty good conversation.  These are the things that I want but can’t have, simple yet hard to find.

Like what I’ve said from the previous post, I knew that he isn’t into me or at least I wasn’t sure.  But the latter, is just a product of analysis and hope.  This time I took a different leap, I didn’t take the safe side.  I tried to risk it again but it’s all worth it despite not getting what I really wanted and hoped for.

Lessons learned again:

1. Still honesty is the best policy
2. Things may not always turn out according to how you want it to be but what’s important is you know how to brace the storm
3. Getting up, moving on and finding another one is a tricky game

I’m ending this post with Kelly Clarkson’s new song.  Though this song isn’t applicable to us exactly but the song Already Gone is appropriate up to certain extent.

***fresh from memories last night… no matter how hard I try to shake it off, it just wouldn’t go away… but in the end it was all settled… you, you know who you are… thank you for the time and inspiration that lasted for weeks… but like what you’ve said… lesson learned number 3 was all your fault… haha!

Already Gone

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories, they’re haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
Even with our fists held high
It never would have work out right, yeah
We were never meant for do or die
I didn’t want us to burn out
I didn’t come here to hurt you now I can’t stop

[Chorus]
I want you to know
That it doesn’t matter
Where we take this road
But someone’s gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn’t have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I’m already gone

Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you’ll find another
That doesn’t always make you wanna cry
It started with the perfect kiss then
We could feel the poison set in
“Perfect” couldn’t keep this love alive
You know that I love you so
I love you enough to let you go

[Chorus]

You can’t make it feel right
When you know that it’s wrong
I’m already gone, already gone
There’s no moving on
So I’m already gone
Ahhh already gone, already gone, already gone
Ahhh already gone, already gone, already gone

Remember all the tings we wanted
Now all our memories, they’re haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye

[Chorus]

You can’t make it feel right
When you know that it’s wrong
I’m already gone, already gone
There’s no moving on
So I’m already gone

A month ago everything was just doing fine.  I wasn’t even thinking about it.  Love being the “it” in the story. 

Well, today I’m actually not still thinking about “it” yet but I didn’t expect that I’ll get a chance to prepare to think about “it”.

You see when you get to meet someone interesting and you’d like to get to know them more, it is somehow you’re putting yourself on the chopping board.

Everyone knows by now that loving isn’t just about being happy and all good memories.  Love comes with hidden charges like heart aches or heart breaks, disagreements, and the like.

But still being subjected to this feeling called love is exciting and I’d rather experience it all over again than missing because I was too naïve to get hurt. 

Besides, life is all about taking risks and surprises.

Still in denial, I keep on telling myself that it is easy being single.  I have been all my life and what’s the big fuss about having someone to cuddle with or talk to when you’re down.

It’s all crap!  And it is just a product of an escapist’s mind.

So I’ve decided that this time, I will try not to expect anything and will just let things be.

I’m not really sure if it’s around the corner right now.  But I can assure you I am doing something just so I’d get there. 

What I am feeling right now is like the song Feel This by Bethany Joy-Galeotti.  Here’s the link of the video and Beatles’ Let It Be.

I believe it was year 2000 when the number “eleven” meant something else to me.

In fact, when you add my birth month and day, it’ll give you the number eleven.

And today, barely after 10 days ago, my blog hits got another 1,000 hits leaving a total view of 11,000 for my blog.

Majority of the views came from the 1967 Chevy Impala, the car make Dean Winchester is using in the cool hit show Supernatural which will be back on September 10th of 2009.

Again, I’d like to thank all those who viewed my blog.

A movie about 10,000 BC was made last year and there’s a band named 10,000 Maniacs based in the US.  And after, 20 days my blog got another 1,000 hits to reach the 10,000 mark of total views.

Milestones so far are the following:

• Most view in a day was registered August 7^th with a total of 148
• Most in a month is June 2009 with a total of 1,284 views
• Average views for a month was registered month of June 2009 as well with 43 per day
• Have a total of 78 comments which includes Chico Garcia’s comment (woot! woo!)
• Topics most viewed are Earth Day/Hour, Departures the show from National Geo Adventure and of course, Supernatural and the 1967 Chevy Impala

For the readers of this blog, again thank you very much for leaving comments, and I promise there are a lot of ideas to come!

Last night, I slept early again.  This past few weeks weren’t really that nice.  Adding up to the drama is the not so happy weather.  Too much gloominess around me makes me go a little too dramatic.  Well, I just wish that I can just shake off some things from and inside my mind.  I’d like to do some eternal sunshine because I feel so stupid.  When things don’t go my way my immediate remedy is to erase those things from my mind.  I try to sleep and forget about it.  As if, all the troubles will be gone.

But this isn’t the reason why I am posting this.

Whenever I sleep early, I have this big tendency of waking up early as well.  So, I just found myself awake at around 3 am and opened my TV and checked the channels.  Then, I saw Wayne Brady, to those who are not familiar with him; he is also a star of Whose Line Is It Anyway?  And the guest contestant was the vocalist of Reo Speedwagon and the song “Can’t Fight the Feeling Anymore” was part of the show.

And I remembered that one episode of Supernatural, Dean Winchester sang that song.  So, I’m sharing this link as part of my tribute to the show.  I can’t wait for September 10^th for the premiere of its 5^th Season.

Here’s the full song and video:

I can’t fight this feeling any longer

And yet Im still afraid to let it flow

What started out as friendship, has grown stronger

I only wish I had the strength to let it show

I tell myself that I can’t hold out forever

I said there is no reason for my fear

Cause I feel so secure when were together

You give my life direction

You make everything so clear

And even as I wander

Im keeping you in sight

You’re a candle in the window

On a cold, dark winters night

And Im getting closer than I ever thought I might

And I can’t fight this feeling anymore

I’ve forgotten what I started fighting for

Its time to bring this ship into the shore

And throw away the oars, forever

Cause I can’t fight this feeling anymore

I’ve forgotten what I started fighting for

And if I have to crawl upon the floor

Come crashing through your door

Baby, I can’t fight this feeling anymore

My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you

I’ve been running round in circles in my mind

And it always seems that Im following you, girl

Cause you take me to the places that alone Id never find

And even as I wander Im keeping you in sight

You’re a candle in the window on a cold, dark winter’s night

And Im getting closer than I ever thought I might

And I can’t fight this feeling anymore

I’ve forgotten what I started fighting for

Its time to bring this ship into the shore

And throw away the oars, forever

Cause I can’t fight this feeling anymore

I’ve forgotten what I started fighting for

And if I have to crawl upon the floor

Come crushing through your door

Baby, I can’t fight this feeling anymore.