the one with Just Say Yes

I know I’ve been wrong before but I’ve also been right. 

I know that I’m feeling unsure today but who aren’t? 

I’ve always been overcritical when all I need is to enjoy.

I’m afraid but I can’t stop myself from testing the water.

I’ve agreed but I want something else.

I’m tight but I get excited easily.

 

A summary in macro of what I have in my mind right now.

 

The first time I’ve heard the song “Just Say Yes” by Snow Patrol, I’ve felt that something smacked right through my heart.  The song’s applicability to me is more on the subject rather than a specific person. 

 

It is as if Love is trying to enlighten me, it is tired of telling me that I should trust it again.  That I should loosen up and enjoy every moment that I have.

 

I want to do that but I’m just having a little issue inside of me.

 

And I think I’m just complicated!

 

Anyway, I’d like to share the link of the song and the lyrics as well.

 

Just Say Yes

I’m running out of ways to make you see
I want you to stay here beside me
I won’t be ok and I won’t pretend I am
So just tell me today and take my hand
Please take my hand
Please take my hand

Just say yes, just say there’s nothing holding you back
It’s not a test, nor a trick of the mind
Only love

It’s so simple and you know it is
You know it is, yeah
We can’t be to and fro like this
All our lives
You’re the only way to me
The path is clear
What do I have to say to you
For Gods sake, dear
For Gods sake, dear
For Gods sake, dear
For Gods sake, dear
For Gods sake, dear

Just say yes, just say there’s nothing holding you back
It’s not a test, nor a trick of the mind
Only love

Just say yes, coz Im aching and I know you are too
For the touch of your warm skin
As I breathe you in

I can feel your heart beat through my shirt
This was all I wanted, all I want
Its all I want
Its all I want
Its all I want
Its all I want

Just say yes, just say there’s nothing holding you back
It’s not a test, nor a trick of the mind
Only love

Just say yes, coz Im aching and I know you are too
For the touch of your warm skin
As I breathe you in

 

the one with the song called “love”

I’ve first heard of this song “Love” by Matt White from the movie Little Manhattan.  I really liked the movie a lot and I somehow loved the song too.

 

Funny thing is this thing called “love” somehow managed to have its presence felt for the last two months or at least I thought it was.  But I was quite happy because I felt something is still there or at least I haven’t given up.  Sad because it was just short and it wasn’t the one that I have been waiting for.

 

I really feel that this song fits me well because I have once believed that falling in love is a silly thing.  You’d get a little cheerful and hopeful then all of a sudden you’d feel that all is just a dream, well at least in my case.  But still there’s something inside of me, longing for that someone, longing to be loved.  That certainly is funny, right?

 

Well, I’d just like to share this song and I hope you’d like it too.

 

 

And love ..
Such a silly game we play, oh,
Like a summer’s day in May.
What is love, what is love?
I just want it to be love
oooh. oh
I, I, I, I, I .. I can feel it in your kiss
It just gives me tender bliss
What is love, what is love?
I just want it to be love
oooh. oh.
When I feel you around,
I was mad as hell when I hit the ground.
When I see you laugh away
It hurts but I just won’t say,
uh uh uh. Loveee …
Who can tell me? I am lost.
I just think that I am strong.
What is love, what is love?
I just want it to be love.
ooooh ooh.
When I feel you around,
I was so upset we fell on the ground
When I see you mad at me
It was such a silly thing
ooooooh
And love ..
Such a silly game we play,
Like a summer’s day in May.
What is love, what is love?
I just want it to be love
ooooh. oh
and I, I, I, I, I, I can feel it in a kiss
It is something I will miss
What is love, what is love?
I just want you to be love

 

The one with the dream, love and OTH

 

I have been a fan of One Tree Hill since 2005, I was then behind 2 seasons and was convinced by one of my closest friend Ruth, who was then in UK to watch this beautiful show. I really loved how the twists and turns go and the narrative parts are always a hit. I just love the right drama and I don’t find it too dark.

But lately, the 6th season failed to catch my attention. Aside from the irregular showing of episodes, I’ve also traveled for a month outside the country and got lost track of time and was dumped with back logs from the different series of shows I am following. Also, the inclusion of the uprising shows added up to the volume of things to watch.

Anyway, just this long week end I’ve pressured myself from watching and finishing the last 5 episodes left of me to unravel from the last season. Most of us know that US shows new seasons premiere on the month of September which is basically today. In a couple of more days, Supernatural, One Tree Hill, NCIS and Brothers and Sisters to name few shows that I am religiously following will start showing (hopefully) regularly.

So suffice it to say, I was able to finish the season and surprisingly I really liked how they have ended the finale. It was the classical OTH type of ending where everyone takes part by narrating lines that actually makes sense when it is put all together.

These lines really make sense especially with me. Lately, I’m having trouble of believing. I am beginning to stop believing in love. I’m starting to give up on dreaming and everything about it.

About five years ago, someone special asked me if what are the things that I’d like to have. I kept silent and thought of it when in fact, the whole time all I know is that I want him (yeah, he is the one) to love me back and give me the things that I am longing for. I just told him with courage that I’d rather keep the number 1 thing that I want for myself because I know deep in my heart with my eyes wide open and mind totally sane that I wouldn’t and couldn’t get what I want that time.

Then, I told him instead that I’d like to be happy because I also believe that having it doesn’t necessarily mean I’d be happy.

Now five years after I still know the truth regardless the very thin line of confusion on what I’ve been trying to believe in and what I want, I am still here. But different, I can’t even recall when in the last 3 years I have dreamed about what love is.

Listening and watching the last few lines from the season finale made me think of this and told myself in deep realization, “Maybe the reason why I don’t have it is because I stopped believing”

And maybe, just maybe, if I’ll just start believing… I’d find someone out there waiting for me to believe in again.

So I’m sharing these lines and the link/clip from the show.

 

Mouth: (Narrating) Take a look at yourself in the mirror, who do you see looking back?
Haley: (Narrating) Is it the person you wanna be?
Dan: (Narrating) Or is there someone else you were meant to be, the person you should have been but just fell short of.
Mia: (Narrating) Is someone telling you that you can’t or you won’t? Because you can.
Chase: (Narrating) Believe that love is out there.
Nathan: (Narrating) And believe that dreams
come true everyday, because they do.
Peyton: (Narrating) Sometimes happiness doesn’t come from money or fame or power. Sometimes happiness comes from good friends and family, and from the quiet nobility of leading a good life.
Julian: (Narrating) Believe that dreams come true everyday, because they do.
Brooke: (Narrating) Believe that dreams come true everyday, because they do.
Peyton: (Narrating) So take a look in that mirror and remind yourself to be happy, because you deserve to be. Believe that.
Lucas: (Narrating) And believe that dreams come true everyday, because they do.

 

the one with the letting “it” be

A month ago everything was just doing fine.  I wasn’t even thinking about it.  Love being the “it” in the story. 

 

Well, today I’m actually not still thinking about “it” yet but I didn’t expect that I’ll get a chance to prepare to think about “it”.

You see when you get to meet someone interesting and you’d like to get to know them more, it is somehow you’re putting yourself on the chopping board.

 

Everyone knows by now that loving isn’t just about being happy and all good memories.  Love comes with hidden charges like heart aches or heart breaks, disagreements, and the like.

But still being subjected to this feeling called love is exciting and I’d rather experience it all over again than missing because I was too naïve to get hurt. 

 

Besides, life is all about taking risks and surprises.

Still in denial, I keep on telling myself that it is easy being single.  I have been all my life and what’s the big fuss about having someone to cuddle with or talk to when you’re down.

It’s all crap!  And it is just a product of an escapist’s mind.

 

So I’ve decided that this time, I will try not to expect anything and will just let things be.

I’m not really sure if it’s around the corner right now.  But I can assure you I am doing something just so I’d get there. 

 

What I am feeling right now is like the song Feel This by Bethany Joy-Galeotti.  Here’s the link of the video and Beatles’ Let It Be.

 

 

 

the one with the waiting game

I’m not really good with waiting.  As much as possible I’d prefer people to be on time because I hate waiting.  But this post will not be about waiting for someone but about something else.

You see, I’ve been single for quite sometime now and I’ve never felt the need to look for someone.  Yeah, this isn’t easy to believe, I, myself couldn’t believe it either.  I am someone who is self-reliant and I try to be independent but not a loner.  Well, I can do things alone but of course, I’d be insane to say that I’d prefer to do it alone or all by myself.  Like I can watch a movie alone or with friends and it will be always be the same.  It is as if you’d talk with each other during the movie anyway.

But this is where the problem starts, whenever I find someone who’s interesting I tend to want to have a fast forward of everything.  You see, I want things to be taken slowly but surely, of course, but there is something with waiting that I just can’t deal with.  I was born this way, and today, I consider it as a source of my vulnerability and weakness.

I believe that I am a lousy with dating. I tend to do stupid things when I am in the “getting to know” stage.  I wouldn’t be exposing too much about myself but I am just admitting it. (Oops, I just realized that this may be a product of being a brat.)

Anyway, as they say, people may either be good with dates or with relationship and it couldn’t be both.  The former, I have a big proof with it, it is where all the being single and lack of experience come from.  So is it safe for me to say that I could be the latter?

Well, I’m not really too dreamy about love.  But, I’m getting old and I’m seeing good things or advantages of having someone.  I don’t want to wait in vain for love and for someone.  I just don’t see the point in waiting.  And since, I don’t see the point in waiting; I don’t tend to look for it.

And as they say it, it will come your way in the most unguarded moment.  I am holding into this concept.  I’ll try to believe this.  The power of believing and I’ll put some prayers as well.

 

*** These thoughts are product of my latest trip to Boracay.  The deadly combination of being alone and gloomy and stormy weather just put me into a dramatic mode.  So here’s the song waiting in vain that really cracked me up during the vacation.

 

 

Waiting In Vain

 

From the very first time I rest my eyes on you, boy

My heart said follow through but I know now

That Im way down on your line

But the waiting feelings fine

 

So dont treat me like a puppet on a string

Because I know how to do my thing

Dont talk to me as if you think Im dumb

I wanna know when youre gotta come,you see

 

*i dont wanna wait in a vain for your love

I dont wanna wait in a vain for your love

I dont wanna wait in a vain for your love

Cause summer is here

And I’m still waiting there

Winter is here

I’m still waiting there

 

Like I said

It’s been three years since I’m knocking on your door

And still I can knock some more

Ooh boy, ooh boy, is it crazy look, I wanna know now

For I to knock some more, you see

 

In life I know

That there is lots of grief

But your love is my relief

Tears in my eyes burn

Tears in my eyes burn

While I’m waitin

While I’m waitin for my turn,you see

 

(*repeat)

Like I said-

I don’t wanna, i don’t wanna

I don’t wanna,i don’t wanna

I don’t wanna wait in vain

I dont wanna, i dont wanna

I dont wanna, i dont wanna

I dont wanna wait in vain

 

It’s been three years since Im knocking on your door

And still I can knock some more

Ooh boy, ooh boy, is it crazy look, I wanna know now

Like I said, the tears in my eyes burn

Tears in my eyes burn

While Im waiting

While Im waiting for my turn, you see

Ooh boy, ooh boy, is it crazy look, I wanna know now

For I to knock some more

In life I know there is lots of grief

But your love is my relief

 

the one with the simple truth

You know how it is when you really care about someone. 

 

You’d feel like to call him because you just want to know how their day is going.  What they’re thinking about and if they’re thinking about you.  You’d spend all day trying to find a perfect way to make a conversation with him because all you have is idle talk.  You’d desire to have dinner with him and hope that the night won’t end. You’d sleep at night and ponder if he dreams about you.

 

Sometimes, I just wish that he could trade places with me so he would know how it feels. 

 

The things that I want are simple… I just want to be with him.  Be there when the going gets tough.  Make him happy when he isn’t.  Smile and stare at him for no reason at all.  Talk to him about nothing in particular, something stupid and basically everything all at the same time.  Watch him closely sleep at night and be the first to say hello in the morning.

 

If it can only be that easy then I might not be having this thought tonight.

 

Believe me it is just as simple as it sounds.  True to life, true to love, true to me.

 

P.S.

 

I had this thought when I was stupidly in love with someone I know I can’t be with.  When, I’m melodramatic, I sound like I’m the most problematic person in the world.  It is weird but still, I miss the feeling of having someone that inspires me.  I miss the feeling of going to work because I look forward to seeing him.  I miss the feeling of having someone in my dreams even if it’s the only way I can be happy with him.  No boundaries, no limitations.