Are you familiar with Kübler-Ross model or the 5 Stages of Grief? I was just reminded of these stages as I was watching Six Feet Under. I don’t know if I’m just right down weird and morbid to think about death. It has been inside my mind for the past two weeks I guess. I was even able to write a haiku about death which goes like this,
“Death will set you free,
Embrace peace and solitude,
I’m not sure if I’m really on the 5th stage of grief because I don’t remember going through the first 3 stages of grief. Yes, I have been depressed few weeks back but I don’t think that’s a good reason for me to give up and ask God to take away my life back.
Maybe, I’m just curious of what would my friends reactions be like. Or maybe, I’m just really selfish and I don’t think about those who love me and those who depend on me. I have always believed that one shouldn’t be afraid of death since it is inevitable. What one should be afraid of is not living his life to the fullest. Death is my inspiration why I’m seizing the day. It is my driving force why I love to travel and discover the world out there. This is the reason why I don’t think when I go to sleep and surrender my soul to the lord. I don’t plan, I just let things be. I have entrusted my life to God and I am ready anytime he’s ready to take me back.
Okay I think I’m sounding too serious already but these are just my honest thought about my life and impending death. Anyway, I’d just like to share the 5 stages of grief just so you’d understand what I’m talking about. And do me a favor if I’ll be on 6 feet under the ground anytime soon just say a little prayer for me. Thanks!
The progression of states is:
- Denial – “I feel fine.”; “This can’t be happening, not to me.”
Denial is usually only a temporary defense for the individual. This feeling is generally replaced with heightened awareness of situations and individuals that will be left behind after death.
- Anger – “Why me? It’s not fair!”; “How can this happen to me?”; “Who is to blame?”
Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to misplaced feelings of rage and envy. Any individual that symbolizes life or energy is subject to projected resentment and jealousy.
- Bargaining – “Just let me live to see my children graduate.”; “I’ll do anything for a few more years.”; “I will give my life savings if…”
The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow postpone or delay death. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. Psychologically, the individual is saying, “I understand I will die, but if I could just have more time…”
- Depression – “I’m so sad, why bother with anything?”; “I’m going to die… What’s the point?”; “I miss my loved one, why go on?”
During the fourth stage, the dying person begins to understand the certainty of death. Because of this, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time crying and grieving. This process allows the dying person to disconnect oneself from things of love and affection. It is not recommended to attempt to cheer up an individual who is in this stage. It is an important time for grieving that must be processed.
- Acceptance – “It’s going to be okay.”; “I can’t fight it, I may as well prepare for it.”
In this last stage, the individual begins to come to terms with their mortality or that of their loved one.