“I’m happy to tell you that this is a pre-determined non-elimination leg and you are still in the race”.   If you were in Amazing race and hearing these lines from Phil Keoghan would certainly be, the sweetest line ever. 

But I’m not a believer of giving someone a second chance and I’ve just proven myself that.  I really have a very terrible sense of trusting someone who has hurt me especially when they’re clueless why I’m hurt and totally not apologetic and sincere with making amends.

I tried to think things over the past few weeks, gathered hundreds of opinions about giving someone a second chance.  Again like what my friends tell me, I’m like Charlotte York of Sex and the City for doing this but this is what I am.  I rationalize and weigh things before making decisions that I’ll later on regret in life.  Well, I’m just like this because I guard my feelings, I don’t want to enter another emotional roller coaster ride.  But, I really tried.  I even told this person that I’m willing to go out-of-the-box this time just as long as we’d do our best to make things work out for us.

The only thing that I asked of is an open communication which encompasses honesty and full disclosure.  You have to understand why I laid out this because we’re talking about leaving the things behind, starting anew and avoiding things that happened before.  I think we owe each other this and I strongly believe that we should practice what we have learned from previous mistakes.  In life, we call it maturity.  I know that it’s a risk worth taking.  The relationship will only work out if both of us are willing to do it and if we’ll help each other out.

I was clear.  If you know me, that’s one thing I am.  I have always been clear.  I don’t believe in grey areas and I hate reading minds and guessing games.  I just don’t waste someone’s time.  Time is so precious and I respect it.

But unfortunately, things didn’t work out.  I just didn’t see enough reasons for me to fight for it.  I don’t even feel that he’s really serious about what we have talked about.  It’s like I’m longing for something that he can’t give.  I guess we’re standing on different grounds.  I’m not mad or angry but I’m just taking the right step and I’ll be firm with my decision.

It hurts when your guts say go for it but you’d end up re-offended by a re-offender.  Listen to another Travis’ song and you’ll get what I mean.

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