What is static? It is a noun, it is the crackling or hissing noises on a telephone, radio, or other telecommunications system. It is what we hear from the television when it has signed off.
You might wonder why on earth am I thinking of static all of a sudden. Well, it is brought about my Six Feet Under addiction. Static was the title of the 2nd to the last episode of the show. This is one of my favorite episodes in the series. It was the episode after the very heavy and saddening episode of Nate’s funeral. I literally felt heaviness on my chest area after watching the funeral. I felt like I’ve lost someone special even if I don’t exactly love Nate or maybe I’m just in denial.
Anyway, the conversation between Nate and Claire in the graveyard caught my attention. This reminded me why I love the show. After days of thinking of an inspiration or topic for my blog then I just hit the jackpot. Here’s what has transpired:
Claire: Why did you have to die? It really sucks. Everything’s unraveling since you’re gone.
Nate: That’s not true.
Claire: It feels that way. I miss you. I miss you so fucking much!
Nate: I miss you, too.
Claire: You know how I always used to tell you, you weren’t Dad, after Dad died? It was such a waste of time thinking that way.
Nate: No, it’s just part of how you dealt with it. It kept you from missing Dad so much.
Claire: No, it kept me from ever knowing you as much as I really could have, and now you are so completely fucking gone! It’s just …
Nate: Claire –
Claire: What? It sucks!
Nate: Stop listening to the static.
Claire: What the fuck does that mean?
Nate: Nothing. It just means that everything in the world is like this transmission, making its way across the dark. But everything – death, life, everything – it’s all completely suffused with static. [makes static sounds] You know? But if you listen to the static too much, it fucks you up.
Nate has made so much sense. Listening to static is like listening to the whole world but yourself. Static is the state where our pain is greater than everything that we feel but we end up denying ourselves to feel it. It is like being afraid to be vulnerable because we are too afraid to admit it to ourselves, too afraid to see the people surrounding us to see that we are grieving. It’s trying to be strong for everyone except for your own self. Nate was right when we listen to the static, it is the time when we all start to fuck up. Static is nothing. The world that we know is too chaotic to listen to. When we try to do things just for the world we end up with nothing. It’s total injustice to our existence. It is the opposite of the fulfillment of our existence.
A death of someone we love shouldn’t put us in static. Life begins not only when someone is born more often than not, life begins when someone else’s dies. I don’t know when did I start accepting death and embracing its role in our lives. And I’m assuring you this when you start to appreciate death, it is the exact same time that you’d appreciate life. This is why I plan to seize the day and live every day as if it was my last. Today when I hear of death I only think of how I enjoyed my life and how thankful I am for each day I have lasted on earth. I guess that is how Nate wanted his family to be. A life built on acceptance and a life less static.