Love is such a good feeling especially when you are not looking for it.  You’d see signs and you’d realize that you have stumbled upon it.  One sign is you’d find yourself smiling and the only reason you have is just because you’re thinking of that certain person.

I didn’t expect that I’ll find someone interesting, someone who’ll connect with me in a way that I have not connected to with anyone else before.  The constant interaction and exchanges led me to where I am today.  But, I don’t want to complicate things and I know that this isn’t part of the plan.  Everything is clear right from the start.

Also, I just have accepted the fact that there are things in life that we want to have but we don’t get them and in my opinion and what I have learned is all we need to do is move on and find another dream to chase.  Especially in terms of love, when things don’t go our way, we can’t be bitter about it.  We should remember that we love the person because we just do and not because of the anticipation of possible reciprocation of love.

I know I may sound too pessimistic and I’m not sure what I’m talking about but I’m just afraid that I’ll start havoc and I’d end up hurting. 

But what I’m sure of today, regardless of the situation, I’m ready to love him and I’ll love him more than anyone.  I’ll be the first one waiting and I’d be the last to leave and all I want to do is make him the happiest person alive.

I know that I can certainly make him smile but not the smile that he’ll draw his happiness from.  I just hope that I can bring him the happiness he deserves could even be possible in the future.

These are just some of the things I have in my mind, pardon my brain fart.  Don’t worry I won’t and don’t do sadness. 

I’ve tweeted over a week or two ago that I think I’m a love repellant.  Not that I’m being jaded but I was just stating an observation.  I’ve just noticed that I’ve met people and they’ve liked me or so they thought that they like me especially in this age of virtual insanity called internet generation. 

It has turning to be an annoying cycle.  Follower signifies interest. I try to entertain and give it a try.  But along the way, I still end up not getting what I signed for.  And surprisingly, I’m not actually sad with that harsh reality.  Maybe because I’m a bit cynical or my trust issue is bigger than me or maybe I just believe that the time for me to meet someone who’s cut out for me has yet to come. 

I’m not getting any younger and I have no time for games especially when it comes to love.  And I’m very aware of the reality that the internet is the least of all places to look for love.  I think I should have known this better by now.  But please don’t judge me; I’m not looking for love on the internet, it just so happen that I’d get to meet people there.  In fact, I’ve got a couple of good friends whom I’ve met thru it.

Anyway, I wasn’t really thinking of that when I initially drafted this post but despite of that sentiment, I’ve found myself suffering from LSS or the last song syndrome last week and the song is Natasha Bedingfield’s “Put your arms around me”.  The song sounds so positive.  Something that I think I need to listen more often so I’d get to convince myself in believing that love actually exists and it really happens. Ha-ha I’m just kidding!  Now, I think I’m sounded jaded and cynical.

Back to what I was saying, I fell in love with the song not only because it sounds positive but also because it was good.  Who wouldn’t love words like “that original feeling never went away”?  This is what I’m exactly hoping for, a love where the intensity has never faded and changed.  I mean if I were just 15 and I’ve heard of that, I’d probably think that love is something amazing and perfect.  There will no more issues with trust because you’d know once you’ve met your loved one, it will always be there. 

Then the song have these words and it is just right down sweet, “So put your arms around me and then stay there forever, Let it always be this way, you and me together”.  It is as if it’s saying that all you have to do is be with me, be around me, wrap me around your arms and we’ll stay together this way forever.  It is like getting an assurance from someone and it’s important when you’re in a relationship.  I know that saying these things are too idealistic but aren’t we all optimistic especially when it comes to love?

Writing this post made me realize that it’s not bad to keep your hopes high and still believe that love is amazing.  Nobody said that it’s going to be an easy ride but I think experiencing it without getting mishaps or bumps from time to time wouldn’t be realistic.  Besides who would want to a monotonous life?  As they say, variety is the spice of life and so I believe that quarrels is to a love life.

I’m ending my post by sharing the music link to Natasha’s songs with the hope that when the right time comes I can sing and make it an anthem to my love life.  Enjoy!

There’s no denying that I’m a big Adele fan.  Her voice, tone, delivery is jut spot-on and strong. I really love her to the bones.  If she’ll come here in Manila I wouldn’t be thinking twice to buy a ticket to her concert.  It’s a no-brainer.  She could actually be my one and only. (Just kidding Kelly Clarkson, you’d always be my first love)

Speaking of “One and Only” this is what my post is about.  This is another Adele song that I love.  The song is a simple love song but the voice is coming from someone who has been let down too many times before.  It’s a re-telling of someone who is starting to fall in love with someone.  She knows this even before but refuses to accept that fact because of too much fear from past relationships.  She’s trying to resist the feeling just to protect her from potentially getting hurt again.  But as the days go by she grows fonder and realizes that maybe the other person feels the same way about her.  Finally she gives in and she tries to convince him to take a chance on love.   She knows that it’s not easy to give his heart but their love for each other will make it worthwhile.  She assures him that she’s one who can walk the mile until the end starts.

It’s a song which I can totally relate with looking back at the past year.  This was actually what I was thinking.  I was too afraid to take the risk then when I started to tell him that I’m ready everything changed.  This song made me realize that.  But that’s a closed story now.  I have nothing to elaborate. Ha-ha! 

My only concern with this song is I think the second part is more appropriate to be sung by a guy.  It can actually pass as a duet. The girl who is hesitant and the guy will tell her that it’ll be all worth it.  I hope Adele gets to read this and consider it.  I just hope she won’t say, “Oh crap you didn’t understand what I was trying to point out!”

I’m ending this post by sharing the link of the song.  Adele sounds better live luckily this song has no video yet and I’ve found a good live version. Enjoy! 


I fell in love with Jake Gyllenhaal when I watched “The Day After Tomorrow” which was my first movie that I’ve watched alone.  That time was when I started to embrace the reality that I can be alone and independent.  I actually love the fact and became proud of myself.

Back to the story, that year I became fonder of him after learning that he co-starred with Jeniffer Aniston who I adore so much. I even asked my mom to buy me a DVD of the movie since I can’t find one here.  And part of being in-love with him I started to check out his movies and Donnie Darko was one of it.  Unfortunately, I got too busy, I’ve lost time and I totally forgot about the movie despite reading good reviews.  Then this year after meeting two good friends while discussing about movies on two separate occasions, Donnie Darko was one of those movies that they’ve recommended.

With today’s technology I was able to get a copy of the movie and decided to watch it finally.  It actually took me two days and another couple of days to finally realize how crazy-good the movie is.

For me, it is romantic though tragic.  But, I can’t discount the fact that it was really romantically written.  What I really liked about the movie was it was non-conformist.  It went out of the usual love stories and crappy I mean too-good-to-be true endings.

Why you might ask?  For the reason, Donnie Darko was a misunderstood but very intelligent guy.  He’s most of the time opinionated and he had no qualms in voicing out his ideas.  That’s one thing that I really loved about him.  Yes, I have a thing for handsome, good-looking and superbly intelligent guys.  But being intelligent and weird has a price, he was emotionally challenged and it seemed that he wasn’t accepted in his time.  He had an imaginary friend Frank who told him about the possibility of time travel and made him do crazy things with the assurance that he won’t get caught.  Frank even told Donnie that in 28 days, 6 hours, 42 minutes and 12 seconds, the world will end.

Going back to the element of love in the story, one day he met Gretchen a new girl in town and they became closer.  This is the part where for me at least it became romantic but tragic.  The 28th day, close call to the last 6 hours, he saw the imaginary tubes leading to a place, he immediately grabbed Gretchen hurried to where it is leading with the thought of it being the answer to all of his questions about time travel when Gretchen was accidentally ran over by a car driven by Donnie’s sister’s boyfriend in a suit that looked like his imaginary friend.  Gretchen died and he shot Frank.  He carried her and followed the tube that led to a place.  The 28 days, 6 hours, 42 minutes and 12 seconds made sense.  He sacrificed his own life for Gretchen’s thru time travel.  This is the part where I didn’t see tragedy but more of true romantic love.

It’s rare for someone to sacrifice one’s life because of love to think how much power someone can get through time travel.  That’s the true meaning of love, no price, full of pure intention and unconditional.

The end of the story/movie was even made more dramatic with Mad World being played on the background.  I’m attaching that part of the movie.  If you have free time to watch a movie, this one should be part of your must-see. You’ll love it.



I’ve heard about the movie from a friend but I forgot who exactly.  I’m a dog lover and almost everyone knows about it.  I had no qualms and I’d cry my heart out whenever I see dogs die in a movie.

Since, I’ve got nothing to do after watching my back logs of series to watch, I’ve decided to watch Hachiko.

Hachiko is an American adaptation of a Japanese tale about a loyal dog named Hachiko. This very special friend would accompany his master to the train station every day and return each afternoon to greet him after work. Sadly his master departs one day, passes away and never returns to the station. Hachiko faithfully returns to the same spot at the station the very next day, and every day for the next nine years to wait for his beloved master. (Source IMDb)

I chose to watch this movie because I wanted to clear my tear ducts and everyone said that it is a good movie.  But I didn’t realize that this will remind me of my Father and his dog, Tracy.

Tracy has turned 14 years old this year and my father left last September 2009.  She has not been separated with my father this long.  (8 months)  It was a big dilemma for him and he had a hard time.  They have been together every day since 1999 so that’s almost 10 years.  But he doesn’t have any choice; he had to go.  Since then Tracy lost the happiness on her face.  You’d notice that she’s longing for my father.  It’s truly heart breaking.

That’s what I’ve felt when I saw Hachiko and this movie.  You’d see his loyalty to his master.  He’d brace the storm, he’d sacrifice travel every day, and he’d stay up late just to wait for his return.

It reminded me of Tracy’s love to my father.  When he was still here, at night time no one can approach my father except for me.  She’s quick and she doesn’t trust anyone.  She won’t take that risk to lose my father.  Her love and loyalty is something that I don’t even know if I can offer to my own father.

If you’re a dog lover I advise you to watch this movie.  And when you do be prepared, you’d cry a bucket or two.  Hachiko will touch your heart and he’ll teach you about love, compassion and unyielding loyalty.

hachiko's real picture

Here’s the official trailer of the movie. Sob sob sob.




Series of unfortunate events happened last week.  I’m not even sure if what I’m feeling right now is numbness or maybe I’m still tired that’s why I can’t feel nothing but numbness.  Some say I did a pretty good job.  I’m acting fine right now and I’m surprising myself.  Is this a sign of maturity or have I just woke up from my illusions and bumped into reality?

Okay, I know you’re wondering what I am talking about.  Here’s what happened, let’s say I’m about to decide in a month’s time.  Well, actually I really planned to weigh things after my birthday.  It’s not actually an ultimatum because I don’t believe in one.  But, because a trip is planned on that week and that will be a test of where we are.  That’s the plan. That was supposed to be the plan.

Yeah I know you might be wondering can this be planned.  Well, I’m not really even sure what I was thinking that time.  But being me, I love planning so I just find myself doing that.  Then week 1 of February happened.  Monday was pretty odd and it got worse the next day.  Wednesday was pretty fine until Friday.  The first few days were all his fault but the last three days were mine.  When I heard someone telling me I sounded tired then I’ve realized that I am.

Then came Friday night as I was packing up my things for the trip with my mind busy on the final itinerary, last minute research and exchanges with friends.  Until someone asked my opinion regarding something that I can truly relate.  It is as if I am talking to myself telling that person what to do.  Then the birth of the realization came.

It is always easier said than done.  Why am I forcing someone to do something that I myself can’t do?  Just find myself so unfair and can’t even walk the talk.  I’ve got hit harder when someone told me that people just do that because they don’t want to not because they can’t.

The impulse was too quick and I texted him if we can talk when I get back.  He said about what and why.  Then, I’ve just realized that it was unfair to some extent for both of us.  Plus, I don’t want to go on vacation with that having in my mind so I dropped the news.

I’m moving on.  It’s time for me to accept the harsh reality with the promise of everything’s going to be alright.  We haven’t seen each other yet but we still do communicate like good friends.  So again I’m doing fine.  I’m not saying this because I’m in denial but because I am.

So I guess I just turned a year older a little early this year.  I wasn’t supposed to get older until next month but I think I just did.

Anyway I’m sharing this James Morrison song entitled “The Pieces Don’t Fit Anymore”.  This song made me realize a lot of things.  Good things.  As what my top ten entry says earlier, “I promised myself that I’d never stop believing in love and I’ll never get tired of taking risks” I think this is what defines me.  There’s gotta be more than life than temporary happiness.

I’ve been twisting and turning,
In a space that’s too small.
I’ve been drawing the line and watching it fall,
You’ve been closing me in, closing the space in my heart.
Watching us fading and watching it all fall apart.

Chorus
Well I can’t explain why it’s not enough, Cause I gave it all to you.
And if you leave me now, oh just leave me now.
It’s the better thing to do,
It’s time to surrender,
It’s been to long pretending.
Theres no use in trying,
When the pieces don’t fit anymore, Pieces don’t fit here anymore.

You pulled me under,
If I had to give in.
Such a beautiful myth,
That’s breaking my skin.
Well I’ll hide all the bruises,
I’ll hide all the damage that’s done.
But I show how I’m feeling until all the feeling has gone.

(Chorus)

Ooh don’t missunderstand,
How I feel.
Cause I’ve tried, yes I’ve tried.
But still I don’t know why, no I don’t know why.
III dont know why…… whyyyyyyyy!

(Chorus)

I know I’ve been wrong before but I’ve also been right. 

I know that I’m feeling unsure today but who aren’t? 

I’ve always been overcritical when all I need is to enjoy.

I’m afraid but I can’t stop myself from testing the water.

I’ve agreed but I want something else.

I’m tight but I get excited easily.

 

A summary in macro of what I have in my mind right now.

 

The first time I’ve heard the song “Just Say Yes” by Snow Patrol, I’ve felt that something smacked right through my heart.  The song’s applicability to me is more on the subject rather than a specific person. 

 

It is as if Love is trying to enlighten me, it is tired of telling me that I should trust it again.  That I should loosen up and enjoy every moment that I have.

 

I want to do that but I’m just having a little issue inside of me.

 

And I think I’m just complicated!

 

Anyway, I’d like to share the link of the song and the lyrics as well.

 


Just Say Yes

I’m running out of ways to make you see
I want you to stay here beside me
I won’t be ok and I won’t pretend I am
So just tell me today and take my hand
Please take my hand
Please take my hand

Just say yes, just say there’s nothing holding you back
It’s not a test, nor a trick of the mind
Only love

It’s so simple and you know it is
You know it is, yeah
We can’t be to and fro like this
All our lives
You’re the only way to me
The path is clear
What do I have to say to you
For Gods sake, dear
For Gods sake, dear
For Gods sake, dear
For Gods sake, dear
For Gods sake, dear

Just say yes, just say there’s nothing holding you back
It’s not a test, nor a trick of the mind
Only love

Just say yes, coz Im aching and I know you are too
For the touch of your warm skin
As I breathe you in

I can feel your heart beat through my shirt
This was all I wanted, all I want
Its all I want
Its all I want
Its all I want
Its all I want

Just say yes, just say there’s nothing holding you back
It’s not a test, nor a trick of the mind
Only love

Just say yes, coz Im aching and I know you are too
For the touch of your warm skin
As I breathe you in