“I’m happy to tell you that this is a pre-determined non-elimination leg and you are still in the race”.   If you were in Amazing race and hearing these lines from Phil Keoghan would certainly be, the sweetest line ever. 

But I’m not a believer of giving someone a second chance and I’ve just proven myself that.  I really have a very terrible sense of trusting someone who has hurt me especially when they’re clueless why I’m hurt and totally not apologetic and sincere with making amends.

I tried to think things over the past few weeks, gathered hundreds of opinions about giving someone a second chance.  Again like what my friends tell me, I’m like Charlotte York of Sex and the City for doing this but this is what I am.  I rationalize and weigh things before making decisions that I’ll later on regret in life.  Well, I’m just like this because I guard my feelings, I don’t want to enter another emotional roller coaster ride.  But, I really tried.  I even told this person that I’m willing to go out-of-the-box this time just as long as we’d do our best to make things work out for us.

The only thing that I asked of is an open communication which encompasses honesty and full disclosure.  You have to understand why I laid out this because we’re talking about leaving the things behind, starting anew and avoiding things that happened before.  I think we owe each other this and I strongly believe that we should practice what we have learned from previous mistakes.  In life, we call it maturity.  I know that it’s a risk worth taking.  The relationship will only work out if both of us are willing to do it and if we’ll help each other out.

I was clear.  If you know me, that’s one thing I am.  I have always been clear.  I don’t believe in grey areas and I hate reading minds and guessing games.  I just don’t waste someone’s time.  Time is so precious and I respect it.

But unfortunately, things didn’t work out.  I just didn’t see enough reasons for me to fight for it.  I don’t even feel that he’s really serious about what we have talked about.  It’s like I’m longing for something that he can’t give.  I guess we’re standing on different grounds.  I’m not mad or angry but I’m just taking the right step and I’ll be firm with my decision.

It hurts when your guts say go for it but you’d end up re-offended by a re-offender.  Listen to another Travis’ song and you’ll get what I mean.

 

I’ve been busy the past two weeks with the following things.  Finally, I’m doing something concrete at work, it’s a welcome change and I’m not complaining at all.  Then two weeks ago I’ve attended a wedding and just this week end I went to travel outside Luzon for rest and recreation.  Aside from this, I’ve been addicted to the US shows and all of them have premiered last September. 

Joining the long list (Brothers & Sisters, The Amazing Race, Survivor, Supernatural and Glee) of my shows is Hell Cats.  At first, I wasn’t really planning to watch it for the reason that I don’t want to be hooked and I want to devote more time for reading and doing jigsaw puzzles.  But out of curiosity I checked it out and now it’s too late for me to walk away because I think and I’m sure I’ll like it more than Glee since the story is about dancing and dancing is my first love.  Aside from that, it is a CWTV show and I’ve been a loyal follower of their shows from Gilmore Girls to One Tree Hill to Supernatural and I have only good words for these shows.

Anyway, the series is based on the book Cheer: Inside the Secret World of College Cheerleaders by journalist Kate Torgovnick and is described as “Election meets Bring It On”. Actor Tom Welling teamed with Kevin Murphy to executive produce the series, which was initially given the name Cheer.  The story is about Marti Perkins, a pre-law college student at Lancer University, who lost her scholarship and has no other choice but to join the college’s cheer squad, the Hellcats, in order to maintain it.  While the squad is also having problems themselves because they need to win the nationals otherwise the cheer leading program will be cut.  (Source Wikipedia)

Being under CWTV, I can only expect that this series will not be just an ordinary show.  I know that conflicts will be greatly tackled.  One will be about the mother-daughter relationship and another will be about peers.  Now, as I’m writing it I’ve just realized that I have compromised my planned time for reading books and doing my puzzles once again but I know that this will be worth it.

 

If you’re getting married and you’re asking yourself if you will be getting help from others perhaps from your mother, bridesmaids, fiancé or even your friends?  Do you want to plan it alone? Can you do it all by yourself?  Only you know and only US can help you with that!

I’ve never imagined myself venturing out on a business service like this.  I’ve never seen myself as an organized person until someone told me that I am.  It all started out when my friend Trina was planning out her wedding.  Since we are like siblings she asked me if I can help her out and of course, in times like that I’ll have all the time in the world.

Then one thing led to another, a rusher friend learned that I’m into planning then he asked if I can help him out and without thinking twice I said yes.  After learning about this, I immediately invited two of my friends, Erna and Dru who are the best creative consultants that I’d ever know to help me out.  My services are just limited to organizing, setting up meetings and logistics.  I’m in need of creative juice & opinion and luckily I have my friends to help me out with that.

Basically, our main objective is to make sure that the wedding day and the weeks leading up to it will run smoothly.

And here’s the list of the few duties that you can expect from us:

  • Help you to create the type of wedding you want. With that knowledge you’ll be able to pick your venue, vendors, color scheme, theme, music, etc.
  • Help keep you on your budget and not go over…too much!!
  • Suggest vendors that fit your budget and ideas.
  • Make a wedding planning schedule so that you know what you’ve done and what still needs to be done.
  • Take care of any emergencies that arise.
  • Create a wedding day schedule.

So if you want all of these things, leave a comment and I’ll get back to you for your concerns.

I’m sharing this beautiful wedding song “We are Man and Wife” from Michelle Featherstone heard from One Tree Hill during Nathan and Haley’s wedding.  I must admit I’m a big Naley fan.

Technically I’m not recovering from a break up, I’m just moving on forward with my life.  It’s just funny because it’s like the world has conspired and it was telling me that I’m just in denial and trying to give me tips for moving on.

Why did I say so?  Last Friday the Top Ten topic from The Morning Rush was about the “Unusual Ways to Mend a Broken Heart” of which two of my entries made it to the list.

Then, today the first article that I’ve read from yahoo was the Break up Recovery 101, basically it is about the 5 tips for making break up a little easier and you can read it below for appreciation.

I just realized that it is true that the person who can make you smile is also the same person who can make cry.  Well, I didn’t cry “cry” this time, I’m tired of crying.  But, I do miss someone not because I love him but because he makes me happy especially on the days that I don’t feel like doing something.

And the past few days was really different, he started to falter and everything is not the same.  I was really having a hard time accepting the fact that I can’t do anything about it.  I just have to accept things as they are.  What’s really saddening is I am just enjoying everything and now I have to start all over again.

But being under this cycle so many times, I’m just trying hard to be strong because at the end of the day, I really have to be strong and I’ve got no choice but to be happy with what I have.

So, I just want to share this video and song by Courtney Jaye entitled, Can you Sleep?  The song was played in One Tree Hill when Lucas and Brooke broke up.  Hope you like it and I’m also attaching the Yahoo Article.

The Article from Yahoo: Whether or not you were together for two weeks, six months, or four years, breakups hurt. And they can be really hard to get over. If you listen to the wise words of Charlotte on Sex and the City, it takes half the time you were together to get over him. Here are a few more wise words to help make your next breakup a little easier.

Don’t Talk to Him

The most crucial rule in breaking up is to not talk to the person you’re breaking up with. Even if you think you can handle it and still get over the person, you can’t. Don’t kid yourself; feelings will get hurt. Take some time off, get over him, and maybe someday in the future you’ll be friends. Until then, lick your wounds and recover any way you’d like; whether that be partying hard, staying in bed for days with pints of ice cream, or spending absurd amounts of money on clothes you don’t need. No one will say a thing; we all heal in our own, weird ways.

Snap Out of It

Remember how things, like stupid songs and movies and that little spot in the park that you two went to on your first date used to be “yours”? Well, they’re not anymore. Don’t make a connection to platonic objects when there isn’t one. Remind yourself that you like that spot in the park because of the good view, not because of anyone connected to it. There’s no point losing more than you have to from a breakup, so don’t get all sappy on yourself.

Reconnect with Your Friends

No matter how much you say you’re not going to be that girl who gives up her friends for her boyfriend; everyone gives up a little of their time to spend with their guy. Well, now is the time to make it up to them (and, you could use the girl talk). So, go out and have fun; grab your best wing woman, and remember how much fun being single really is.

Take Some Time for Yourself

Amidst all of this trying not to talk to him, hanging out with friends, partying more and/or eating lots and lots of ice cream-you need to remember to sit back and actually work through your feelings. Understand why things went south, and why you’re better off this way. And in no time you’ll be back to your old self, and what’s-his-name will be a thing of the past.

It’s All About Rewards

And finally, do all of the little things that make you happy every day. Yep, being single means thinking about you, you, and you. So, go and take that extra time after work and buy yourself that little ring you’ve been obsessing over. Or take a long walk and meet a friend for cupcakes because well, you can. Have fun spoiling yourself, because you deserve it after….wait, what? I’m forgetting already.

 onetreehill-cast-03s

I have been a fan of One Tree Hill since 2005, I was then behind 2 seasons and was convinced by one of my closest friend Ruth, who was then in UK to watch this beautiful show. I really loved how the twists and turns go and the narrative parts are always a hit. I just love the right drama and I don’t find it too dark.

But lately, the 6th season failed to catch my attention. Aside from the irregular showing of episodes, I’ve also traveled for a month outside the country and got lost track of time and was dumped with back logs from the different series of shows I am following. Also, the inclusion of the uprising shows added up to the volume of things to watch.

Anyway, just this long week end I’ve pressured myself from watching and finishing the last 5 episodes left of me to unravel from the last season. Most of us know that US shows new seasons premiere on the month of September which is basically today. In a couple of more days, Supernatural, One Tree Hill, NCIS and Brothers and Sisters to name few shows that I am religiously following will start showing (hopefully) regularly.

So suffice it to say, I was able to finish the season and surprisingly I really liked how they have ended the finale. It was the classical OTH type of ending where everyone takes part by narrating lines that actually makes sense when it is put all together.

These lines really make sense especially with me. Lately, I’m having trouble of believing. I am beginning to stop believing in love. I’m starting to give up on dreaming and everything about it.

About five years ago, someone special asked me if what are the things that I’d like to have. I kept silent and thought of it when in fact, the whole time all I know is that I want him (yeah, he is the one) to love me back and give me the things that I am longing for. I just told him with courage that I’d rather keep the number 1 thing that I want for myself because I know deep in my heart with my eyes wide open and mind totally sane that I wouldn’t and couldn’t get what I want that time.

Then, I told him instead that I’d like to be happy because I also believe that having it doesn’t necessarily mean I’d be happy.

Now five years after I still know the truth regardless the very thin line of confusion on what I’ve been trying to believe in and what I want, I am still here. But different, I can’t even recall when in the last 3 years I have dreamed about what love is.

Listening and watching the last few lines from the season finale made me think of this and told myself in deep realization, “Maybe the reason why I don’t have it is because I stopped believing”

And maybe, just maybe, if I’ll just start believing… I’d find someone out there waiting for me to believe in again.

So I’m sharing these lines and the link/clip from the show.

 

Mouth: (Narrating) Take a look at yourself in the mirror, who do you see looking back?
Haley: (Narrating) Is it the person you wanna be?
Dan: (Narrating) Or is there someone else you were meant to be, the person you should have been but just fell short of.
Mia: (Narrating) Is someone telling you that you can’t or you won’t? Because you can.
Chase: (Narrating) Believe that love is out there.
Nathan: (Narrating) And believe that dreams
come true everyday, because they do.
Peyton: (Narrating) Sometimes happiness doesn’t come from money or fame or power. Sometimes happiness comes from good friends and family, and from the quiet nobility of leading a good life.
Julian: (Narrating) Believe that dreams come true everyday, because they do.
Brooke: (Narrating) Believe that dreams come true everyday, because they do.
Peyton: (Narrating) So take a look in that mirror and remind yourself to be happy, because you deserve to be. Believe that.
Lucas: (Narrating) And believe that dreams come true everyday, because they do.

I love Bethany Joy’s voice and when my friend Ruth gave me a copy of compilation of her songs, Leaving Town Alive became one of my favorites.  At first, I loved it because of its melody, and her magical voice.  And as always, I’d check out the lyrics and try to comprehend its meaning.

In my opinion, I think what the song wants us to learn is what life is about.  It is about living our lives to the fullest.  And part of it is committing mistakes and learning from it.   No matter how we’ve started, we journey on life with no idea of what lies ahead.  We’d wonder endlessly, everyday, every move we make and we should simply live life to the fullest.  Carpe Diem!  Seize the day! 

And in the end, we’d leave our lives and leave a mark for the others to remember like a legacy, like a book to read.  It is what we make; it is life that we call.

And to give life justice is we should just enjoy our journey and race up to the finish.  After all, life is for the living, the forgiven and for leaving town alive.

Here’s the song’s lyrics and you tube link for you to enjoy the song.

 

Leaving Town Alive Lyrics by Bethany Joy Galleoti

Spending all your money
Ain’t it funny how the time goes by?
First you start believing
Then you’re leaving for no reason
And you’re wondering why
So till the morning breaks
Go and make your mistakes
Don’t be surprised if your head hurts
Life is for the living, the forgiven and for leaving town alive

Whisper in the ways
Watching days and moving on
You wake up every Monday then suddenly it’s Sunday
And the week is gone
So till the morning breaks
Go and make your mistakes
Don’t be surprised at the sunrise
Life is for the living, the forgiven and for leaving town alive

Oh, do you wonder where it starts
Where it ends
What you find around the bend
Oh, do you wonder where she’s from
Where she goes
No one knows
Now and then you wonder
Why you’re spending all your money
Ain’t it funny how she walks on by?
She had you all believing
Now she’s leaving for no reason
And you’re wondering why

So till the morning breaks
Go and make your mistakes
Don’t be surprised if your heart hurts
Life is for the living, the forgiven and for leaving town alive

Oh, do you wonder where it starts
Where it ends
What you find around the bend
And oh, do you wonder where she’s from
Where she goes
No one knows
Now and then

Oh, do you wonder where it starts
Where it ends
What you find around the bend
And do you wonder where she’s from
Where she goes
No one knows
Now and then you wonder

Why life is for the living, the forgiven and the leaving town alive
Life is for the living, the forgiven and the leaving town alive

 

I’ve never been addicted to cigarettes but maybe with coffee especially brewed coffee it is totally addicting.  But this isn’t the reason why I am writing this.  A week ago I have a friend who asked who has been listening to Michelle Featherstone, and I immediately remembered her and her songs from One Tree Hill.  One song has been a part of the soundtrack and the other was played from the episode.  I even have a collection of her songs.

 

So I’m sharing this song “Coffee and Cigarettes” because once in my lifetime I had the same dilemma like this song and it took me sometime to realise that what I needed to do is to quit him.

 

And I quote from Annie Proulx’s Broke back Mountain “There was some open space between what he [Ennis] knew and what he tried to believe, but nothing could be done about it, and if you can’t fix it you’ve got to stand it.”

 

So here I’m sharing a youtube link and some thoughts to ponder on.  Sometimes, we need acceptance to start moving on, and a part of moving on is quitting those addictions.

 

 

 

Coffee and Cigarettes – Michelle Featherstone

I gave up coffee and cigarettes

I hate to say it hasn’t helped me yet

I thought my problems would just dissipate

And all my pain would be in yesterday

 

I poured my booze all down the kitchen drain

And watched my bad habits get flushed away

I thought that that would keep my head on straight

And all my pain would be in yesterday

 

But it’s true

I’m still blue

But I finally know what to do

I must quit, I must quit, you

 

I thought that if I didn’t go and play

The sadness would get bored and go away

I thought that if I didn’t go astray

That all my pain would be in yesterday

 

But it’s true

I’m still blue

But I finally know what to do

I must quit, I must quit, you

 

I sold my guitar and my piano

I thought that it was these that kept me low

I thought if only I could try and change

That all my pain would be in yesterday

 

But it’s true

I’m still blue

But I finally know what to do

I must quit, I must quit, you

 

I must quit, I must quit, you